the velvety heart of jesus

Even though I write this now at 39 years old (June 2012), I remember it as if I were young again, 9, maybe 10.  The smells of her house now haunt me in the most delightful way and that picture hanging from her wall has been etched into my being like inscription on stone.  
 
My Nana, all 4’11” of her, as I am now discovering by looking back was the driving force in my faith and who eventually led me home to the Catholic Church.
 
From my understanding, my Nana was, just as all good Italians were, raised Catholic.  She raised her children Catholic the best she could as well.  Unfortunately, she divorced and the people in her parish’s response to this decision was harsh and judgemental at the time.  It is said that this is what eventually led my Nana to seek God elsewhere outside of the Catholic Church.
 
I share this because my faith-based memories of my Nana were not all Catholic.  She attended a Protestant church.  I joined her on occasion and worshiped with her.  One of my fondest memories of her was watching her small little body be overtaken by God and start dancing down the aisle!  It resonated joy within me.  I loved her so much.
 
There are many things I remember about my Nana and her home.  A hot cup of tea was required upon entry.  I swear she could solve all the world’s problems with a hot cup of tea!  Sitting at her small kitchen table surrounded by all of the ingredients of the food she prepared for everyone she loved.  Her maneuvering around the small cooking space, listening to every word her guest was rambling off until the whistle of the teapot created a silent pause in the conversation. 
 
There were her ‘soaps’, All My Children was her favorite.  I would sit at her feet as she knitted or sewed and every minute or so she would look up and speak out what was going to happen next.  "Thomas cheated on her and is having a baby."  And sure enough, he did.  She mesmerized me, as a little girl I was enthralled with her ability to know the future of these dramatic and desperate souls on the TV!  She suffered arthritis terribly and her poor little feet were turned in directions they shouldn’t be and ached so much.  She would ask me to rub them and I would.  Little did I know how desperate I would be 30 years from that moment to just rub her feet again.
 
She lived in a humble trailer, gave all of her money away to anyone who asked for help and would always remind me that Jesus loves me and to read my bible!  Many times she would sit at that same kitchen table, quietly by herself and read her bible and say her prayers.  I paid her no mind, not realizing that hanging from her hand was a small handmade rosary, her gripping it tightly, quietly praying her rosary and finishing it with, "Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us."
 
But it was my trip down her narrow hallway to the bathroom that always got me.  Halfway through there was a picture of Jesus.  I knew who Jesus was, I certainly knew what he looked like, but this Jesus was different.  This Jesus had his heart exposed, his hand up to it and his heart was made out of a velvet material.  As a little girl, I remember stopping in that hallway and rubbing the velvety heart of Jesus so softly, so tenderly.  It was irresistible.  I had no idea what it was or what it meant, I just knew it was good and I could not stop from touching it.
 
My Nana lived a long life before I was born and I was young when she died, so I am not sure how other people would remember her, but the more and more I learn about my own faith, the more and more I realize how truly Catholic she was and how she inadvertently ended up sharing her Catholic faith with me through those little actions of faith taught to her by her own family. 
 
My husband and I met in 1997, 3 years after my Nana passed away.  We both have felt her presence in our lives and we truly believe there was no way someone like him and someone like me would have ended up together if not divinely planned!  We are confident it was through her prayers specifically that we met and are together .  In my husband, through my Nana’s prayers and most likely more specifically her prayers to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, God has led me to the Catholic Church, to the fullness of faith and for good reason.  She, just like Jesus, wants all of her loved ones to come home.  She knows so much more about Jesus and His One True Church now more than ever and has been diligently praying in bringing all of her children back home.  She is gone from us here but is still actively being a good and holy mother from up above!
 
The Sacred Heart of Jesus has blessed me so tremendously and so many graces have been bestowed upon me, my family and many whom I have prayed for personally.  It is through His Most Sacred Heart that my Nana reveals herself to me, in a beautiful way, saying to me she is still here, she is still praying for me and she is still a huge part of my life.  

So today on this most holy Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I just want to say thank you to my Nana.  In Holy Mass this morning, you were there, I felt you.  Thank you for not giving up on me or any of your children.  I join her in praying that all of God’s children will experience the fullness of God’s love through His One True Church, may they be given the opportunity to be like a child, tenderly touching the velvety heart of Jesus and may they come home!

 Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!

Update: In 2016, our family consecrated our home and ourselves to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and enthroned Him as King of our home.  My Nana's love and prayers for my family continue and the graces of such faith have blessed us tremendously.  I miss you old lady, terribly, but find comfort in knowing you join us always in the Communion of Saints at each Holy Mass. 

Photo credit and product info:  MXArtsCrafts on Etsy
https://www.etsy.com/listing/629403431/milagro-sacred-heart-red-velvet-exvoto?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=velvet+sacred+heart&ref=sr_gallery-1-27&pro=1&frs=1

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