As a new Catholic Christian in 2008, I began to go to daily Holy Mass, with my youngest (4 years old) son in tow.  I knew I had personally encountered Jesus in the New Age temple (you can read that here) a couple years prior and He confirmed for me in a mystical and most profound way that it was truly Him that I was looking for.

So now, receiving the Holy Eucharist and kneeling next to my little boy, every single day - I gave Jesus my whole heart.  I prayed for three things:

1-  Give me Your wisdom, Lord.  I quit high school in 10th grade, eventually got my GED and did sporadic classes in community colleges through the years, and even though I was street smart, I felt in comparison to others, quite stupid.  I honestly thought that if I asked God for His wisdom, He could make me "smart."

2- Let me love every single person I encounter like You love them, Jesus.  My heart was so full of woundedness and anger, hatred and judgement that it hurt for it to even beat in my chest.  I wanted that pain to stop and I thought that if He infused His heart into mine, then mine would automatically feel better.

3- Make me Your Saint, Oh God!  I had constantly felt shameful about who I was, what had happened to me, and what I had done to others.  When coming into the Church I was asked to pick a patron saint; and it was then that I learned that a saint was someone who was extraordinarily good and lived a holy life.  I really wanted God to turn my shameful, unholy life into something beautiful, not just to see, but most especially to feel and share.

Little did I know the connection between my "beginner" prayers and THE WAY OF THE CROSS until now.  Because learning the way of the cross has truly helped me understand how God answers our prayers.

Jesus is our example.  Everything He did was for me (and you).  So that means that it is in being arrested, wrongfully accused, scourged and beaten, crowned with thorns, abandoned and mocked, and finally crucified that we eventually gain what we have asked God for. 

The way of the cross = answered prayers.

And in my case --> wisdom, unconditional love and holiness and eventually eternity in His presence.  Because what my earlier prayers have taught me is that through God answering them I am learning a faith like Job.  That no matter what happens to me here in this world - GOD IS MY EVERYTHING!

There is no other way to the Resurrection except through the Last Supper, Passion, Crucifixion and Burial.  That is where God answers our prayers - that is where we find eternal life with Him!

So Lord, I come to You yet again and I ask You to continue Your work in me...
Grant me Your WISDOM...
Give me Your HEART...
Make me Your SAINT.
Accompany me to Your Cross and 
continue to give me the strength I need to endure it.
Amen. †

#thanksbetoGod
#dazzled
#thewayofthecross
#Godismyeverything
#answeredprayers

​On this International Day of Women, I want to recognize and celebrate Mary.
 
The young girl Mary, who was frightened and confused, believed the angel who appeared to her and said Yes! to God to carry His son.  Heavenly Father, please give me the trust and courage of Mary, most especially in times when I feel frightened and confused. 
 
The wife and mother Mary, who with the knowledge of how great her Son truly is, was a spouse to Joseph and mother to this growing boy without knowing the when and where of His mission.  Heavenly Father, please give me the humility and perseverance of Mary, most especially in times when I lack the patience I need to continue in Your will for my life.
 
The unwavering disciple Mary, who even though she was his parental authority, followed Jesus and was constantly by his side, most especially at His death.  Heavenly Father, please give me the strength, hope and grace to endure the hardest of trials, that like Mary, when everything around me in this world seems dim and hopeless, that I stand at the foot of your Holy Cross and trust in You. Amen.
 
This is the woman I long to be.  
This is true trust, courage, humility, perseverance, strength, hope and grace.
This is the feminine genius You have created all of us women to be!


#internationaldayofwomen
#femininegenius
#maleandfemalehecreatedthem
#blessedvirginmary
#ourholymother
#iwannabelikeher
#mommaletics
#dazzledbyGod


Image sources: 
Pregnant: ColorsbyNatalie Etsy Shop
​Mom and Son: Jon McNaughton, Child of Mine
Foot of the cross: Unknown